If I ever discovered a parasite...
I'd give it a kick-ass name!
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
I don't want to live a life of quiet desperation!
It is okay to be doomed with a sense of conscience, to worry, to wrestle with the angels, to never
feel that you’ve done enough. It is a driver; it’s what makes us human; it’s a charge we feel.
Don’t mean to sound like a Hallmark card, but I refuse to live a life of quiet desperation.
I suppose you don’t want to live one, either.
We don't need people to give us permission to feel, and to feel about things that we can likely never fully comprehend or empathize about. It certainly is nice though to have someone recognize and validate how tough that place can be... even if it may not compare at all to the challenges some other people face.
Tuesday, October 07, 2014
"Outside my Window"
I can literally say that all the folks who have participated in this assignment to this point have had great insights to share, and all have been incredibly positive and supportive of each other. We have people in the class from all over the world - the US and Canada, central America, India, Pakistan, different places in Africa, Samoa, Australia.... It's incredible to hear each person's individual story.
I keep pondering one particular comment about the difference between education and empowerment, and that education does not necessarily always lead to empowerment. In many instances when we read media that explores the need for education for girls, it doesn't talk about the deeper need for empowerment... particularly something that would be challenging in male dominated cultures. One poster made the point that where she teaches (Samoa), she's experienced that education alone is not enough to change a male dominated culture - and educated women still may not be able to take action or have agency in the same way as men, even when men have less education.
I recently completed I am Malala - the autobiographical story of Malala Yousafzai. It was a wonderful book. I learned so much more about Pashtun culture and about Islam than I had expected - for instance the word for cousin is the same as the word for enemy (tarbur). What I am now realizing I missed is if she went deeper than education being the key to empowerment. I need to reread the book with this lens in place to see if she distinguishes between the two or if she automatically links the two.
I see in my own work with volunteers at the zoo, that education and empowerment are not always the same thing. What do you think? When are they the same thing and when are they different?
So, what do you see outside your window?
Monday, October 06, 2014
A New Experience - Finishing a MOOC?
I realize that to be able to be successful, I must define what that means to me. This is my second MOOC (and really my third-ever completely online course). One was test-driving a new online leadership course for WAGGGS (World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts), and I made it about halfway through. I'd already learned this content through a session at Nuestra Cabaña 2010 where I was the only young woman from the United States among the around 40 participants. That's hard to top, even when trying to do WAGGGS a favor to test a new course, and even though I was still 'meeting' women my age from around the world. So, I felt a lack of success in that course.
The second course I failed to complete was run through Canvas.net (which Educating Girls is being run through too) and was on the topic of water in the west (US specifically). The expectations of this course were gargantuan, and I never made it past the first assignment (to introduce myself to the class). A few volunteers from the zoo where I work took the class too (upon my advertisement of it!) and every time they came by to say hello and talk about the class I felt like a fool because I could not add any additional commentary. At least the volunteer who finished it all the way through commented on the huge expectations for the course too... and she's retired!
So, whatever the reasons, I have been one of those people who hasn't completed courses in the past. One of Dr. Mednick's comments in his introductory post to this class seemed to be speaking directly to me.
"They say that only 11% of the people who sign up for MOOCs (massive open online courses) actually finish the course. Let's do a lot better than that."
Yes please! I'm hoping that my strong interest in the subject will take me through and meet his goal for us. So, that's one way I'll know I succeeded - if I actually complete the course. This simple-sounding definition of success will certainly take a lot of resolve.
The second hope I have for this course, and a way that I will know I was successful is if I am able to start to generate more agency in myself to make a difference in this world for girls and women. I don't really know what this looks like yet - and I'm hoping this course may give me something that helps me find a path to follow.
I am so excited by the growing conversation about rights for women and girls. It feels like momentum is growing since the first time I saw The Girl Effect years ago (2010?). Perhaps this is just a reflection of the community I've built around myself - mirroring back my own interests (as we know Facebook is prone to do). Even if it is, I'll start with my enthusiasm, and hopefully begin to find small ways to take action.
Saturday, July 07, 2012
Girl's World Forum!
What is the Girl's World Forum, you might ask?
To celebrate 100 years Girl Scouts and Girl Guiding, from 2010 to 2012 the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts has hosted a Forum each year. The first forum was in the UK. The Young Women's World Forum took place simultaneously at each of the 4 World Centers. The final forum is the Girls World Forum at which teenage girls are the participants, and those of us lucky enough to be in the 18-30 age range get to be the young women chaperones.
The World Forum by WAGGGS is a series of programs focused on the United Nations (UN) Millenium Development Goals (MDGs): 1 “End poverty and hunger”, 3 “Promote gender equality and empower women” and 7 “Environmental susustainability”, topics selected in consultation with young women."
As you might imagine I'm extremely excited to participate in another WAGGGS event. The World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts is an umbrella organization to which Girl Scouts USA belongs, entitling those of us in Girl Scouts to participate in a host of amazing activities.
I participated in my first WAGGGS event in October 2010 - the WAGGGS Leadership Development Program that was centered around MDG 3. I did a ton of research before arriving and learned so much about leadership and women in leadership. I can't wait till I have a chance to learn more. I'm particularly excited about my role as chaperone, as it will stretch my comfort zone and allow me to help two young girls discover a wider world!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Spending Fast = extreme
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Groceries spending win!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
A success!
So this might be hard...
Monday, January 09, 2012
Monday, January 02, 2012
the benefits of tidying up!
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The Challenge of a Spending Fast
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Testing the Waters!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Spending Fast
What I will have to spend money on:
Rent
Utilities (electric, internet): this should be an area I should see some good improvement in... I have a horrible habit of leaving the TV/VCR on when not watching it as background noise, and leave lights on more than I need. A terrible habit for someone who purports to be 'green!' Go back to completely line-dried clothing. I already cut the cable TV out last year, but could still cut down on my time in front of the tube!
Cell phone: I just found out that a different cell service provider offers my workplace a group discount! I am hoping to switch in February.
Food: I'm spending more than I feel like I should, so cutting down on total budgeted amount which means using what I have on hand (who doesn't like a stocked pantry?) and perhaps including cheaper meals from time to time (hello Dirt!). Cut down on food waste, cut coupons, search for deals.
Car stuff (loan, gas, maintenance, repairs): cut down trips taken so I don't fill up more than 3x per month. Use bike and eco-pass. Put money aside for car repairs and maintenance each month.Hygiene and home supplies: This is for shampoo, stamps, TP, etc... but the budget is small for these odds and ends. This includes things here and there that will help with gift making and giving. I will look for coupons and only purchase items on sale.
Other: a cousin may be getting married this summer, I've already got plans to travel to the Telluride Film Fest, and things like professional membership fees when not covered by work are going to have to fit into the budget in 2012, but I'm hoping to budget my money out to fit these costs in without detracting from my spending fast.
What I'm NOT spending money on:
Basically everything else... it actually doesn't seem like there's all that much more, but some of the items below, as well as overspending on groceries and other 'necessities' have caused the budget to rise too much.
Gifts (I've already been doing this for years to an extent, but this year I'm giving it a go at 100%)
Eating out (including tea out!)
Clothes (I will thrift as needed if clothes give out)
Movies (super hard, but am starting the year with a gift card so hopefully that will suffice! Also includes not purchasing Netflix but sticking with checking out items from DPL.)
Books, movies, CDs (all tend to be impulse bought)Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Chance taken, moving foward
Monday, November 07, 2011
Sunday, November 06, 2011
taking charge #2
Thursday, November 03, 2011
taking charge
So excited!!!
Monday, October 31, 2011
A new year and what it could be...
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Success so far!
Awesome!
I'll be driving tomorrow because I have to be out in Aurora at 5:30 for Girl Scouts to get ready for the Cookie Rally. But, since this week is a 6 day work week I'm thinking about commuting alternatively 5 out of the 6 days... we'll see how I feel once I get to Saturday!
And to compound my feelings of being a little bummed out about being single, starting tonight I'm now going to look even less alluring in bed thanks to my new night guard. It's not the fancy $xxx one from the dentist, it's just from Walgreens, but hopefully it will help me stop clenching, thus creating the lovely popping jaw I now possess!
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
A New Year!
So, my goal for the new year is:
I will commute to work alternatively at least 4 days per week. At least one day per week will be walking to work.
I figure this could take care of some of those health-related resolutions by also saving me money and helping the environment. I've been bothered lately because I was selected to be a member of the Wild Ride team because of my commitment to commuting without a single-occupancy vehicle. Well, I've been doing incredibly badly at this, and yet have been getting some great gear and fun stuff for free because of this "commitment" I'd made.
So far so good! I've done great the first two days of commuting. Tomorrow I'm planning on walking because I have some checks to cash and movies to return. And no Girl Scouts tomorrow because of the Cookie Rally on Thursday instead.
Anyways... onward to a great new year! I'm young and happy and single and loving life!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Since then I've been thrown into full "Docent Training preparation" mode and I'm coping as best as possible. I got a little pit of fear in my stomach that despite what my VP said in the past, that she'll say something different now, and all preparations will have been for naught.
Girl Scouts keeps plugging along. I'm learning my 'place' in the troop. My co-leader is upset about something I did, but we can't find the time to sit down and talk about it. It reminds me of the time a former boyfriend told me there was something he wanted to talk about in April, but didn't want to actually talk about it till I was done with my thesis. That was agony! Suffice to say, we broke up in June, and the thesis that was supposed to be done in July wasn't done till November.
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Return and Sad News
I've learned from the last PD opportunity I got to go to (Trainer's Day Camp) that I need to be very purposeful about sitting down after to process what I experienced and make a plan. I appreciated that this Learning and Development conference worked that into the days. Even if it wasn't enough time for me to process it was enough time to start and also to prove to me that yes, I do need to think about this more when I get home. Plus, I have two ways to incorporate this information that I'll have to think about using.
The extra night in New York City was very worth it. It was perfect, minus how my travel companion sometimes rubs me the wrong way.
And then when I returned to Denver at 9pm I get two voice mails. One from Mom and one from Dad, both saying to call. My grandma has died. She died when I was trying to relax and ogling the good looking guy sitting next to Maureen on the airplane ride home. It feels strange to say I'll miss her, because I haven't seen her in over a year. She just turned 97. She took care of me as a kid - we spent a good portion of every summer at her house, eating mac and cheese and chicken nuggets, playing in the school yard just beyond her yard, climbing the trees in her yard.... I'll miss you Grandma.
Monday, July 26, 2010
New York!
Turns out the next trip is not going to be Mexico in October, but Kansas City in September. Sheesh. I probably shouldn't have gone if I looked only at money, but on the other hand, it's Shannon's wedding reception, and school will be in session and I haven't been to Kansas since 2006. It's time. I'll probably drive out to save some cash, so if anyone wants to road trip with me, just let me know:)
As for the Mexico trip with Girl Scouts... it's not that I'm less enchanted and excited, but with the research I'm supposed to have been doing I'm less excited and more nervous that I won't manage to get anything to contribute. At least I'm taking the camcorder to the conference in New York... hopefully I can get some good interviews with women there to pull together into a video for the event, even if I'm not able to get the actual research/paper writing done. Don't get me wrong... I am excited about Mexico and looking forward to meeting everyone and learning more about leadership, but I'm also preparing for Docent Training at the same time... uhg.
So the benefit to having my sister over this weekend (aside from the obvious!) is that my apartment is now clean and tidy... something I won't have to do before I leave for the airport! Woo!
Friday, July 02, 2010
I'm learning it's always good to have back up projects, because we have some girls that finish really fast. Luckily we were able to get the girls going on their WOW journey maps so they got something accomplished they needed to get done while the other girls finished their trefoils.
I love this troop, and this was just the sort of meeting I needed. Occasionally meeting every Wednesday starts to feel burdensome.
I've not been incredibly successful researching about women and leadership in the USA so far... too much is going on and my evenings this week have been consumed with other activities. Good activities. I almost got myself a roommate but decided I couldn't manage a move before August! Though it does make me a little sad, I would have loved living with Catherine.
The research is for my WLDP (WAGGGS Leadership Development Program) experience coming up this October at Our Cabaña. SOOOOO excited!
And in the latest news my work 'girlfriends' are all at least 40 years older than me! We had a wonderful time last night in Jan's amazing backyard laughing, drinking, eating and gossiping!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I came into being a troop leader with the assumption that we could do anything, travel, earn gold awards, etc. After a dose of reality of running the troop with my co-leader since late January, that is still a goal, but a very long-term goal. It's all we can do to get all our girls at the meeting any given week, or attending one of our field trips.
If we end up providing the girls a safe place, and help them become more focused and understand how to work in a group, we'll have done a good job. Opening up different opportunities for them too is a huge plus, like our idea of bringing in a person to talk to the group from each of the different areas in which they want to work. We have three future vets!
I am feeling oddly positive after our recent meeting despite my realization that my goals to start should be smaller. Perhaps I'm just learning the reasoning behind why SMART goals are important!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Let it Snow!
Visiting the family at home does not make it easy. They tempted me with corned beef and Swedish meatballs... epic fail on my part, except that I'm really mostly doing this for health which I think allows a few digressions. My other big reason is consistency and avoiding hypocrisy. If I'm going to be a meat eater, I want to eat everything (tendons, skin, etc), which I'm utterly incapable of doing. I just feel so wasteful. So, the meat went and 90% of the time I manage to avoid meat. It's visiting the family that becomes hard, because on my own I really have no problem.
We're in the middle of a typical spring blizzard here. I LOVE it! I'm not surprisingly one of the only ones. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to the spring weather, but I think I can tolerate the snow we get in the spring because they are so epic typically and because we have such balmy days in between (especially this year). Plus, there's just something about a huge snowstorm that makes me so happy! Perhaps I feel this way because I don't have something uber important tomorrow. But even last Friday when we had the huge snowstorm and I was planning to travel home, I felt perfectly fine. I even have to be careful of my work computer now and cover it with a plastic bag and move it out of the corner now and I still love this heavy, wet, deluge of snow! (turns out for all the benefits of moving into my lovely new office, it's in the leaky corner of the building, so whenever we get heavy wet snow it starts dripping through the roof!)
I can't believe how quickly the year is going. Already we're towards the end of March! This week I start another Guide Training class (my third!), and next weekend is an Easter weekend trip with Laura!
Saturday, March 06, 2010
GS and work update
Girl Scouts has been going very well! Slowly our troop is growing, and now we have 4 total girls, though one is not super reliable if she's going to be at the meetings or not. My co-leader and I finally decided we needed to lay down some ground rules, which I am kinda glad that we didn't do that right away. Hopefully the girls have had enough fun so far that they want to stick around, and Bobbi and I were very honest about it all too. We made a group agreement that Bobbi and I agreed to as well, and then our next meeting will be a parent's meeting to share the group agreement with, and a court of awards ceremony, though I'm not completely sure that we've actually earned any tri-its yet.
I hope it's OK that we're making our juniors earn tri-its for the rest of this year. It's just easier to keep them as one grade level. Since we have 3rd graders and 5th graders who with the old model would have been a troup together we thought it would be OK. Our 3rd graders seem advanced and our 5th graders seem less so. Next year will be juniors and probably the year after unless we need to just bridge the older girls to Cadettes. It seems like it might be easier to do what the older girls need and find a way to fit the junior badges into the interest patches. And hopefully the journeys will align well enough that it's not like having two separate troops trying to accurately meet the needs of our girls.
As a trainer with Girl Scouts I always thought that I'd be the by-the book leader... HA! We're doing good by our girls as best we can, even if we technically aren't a troop yet (we need 5 girls I believe) or even if our 5th graders are doing brownie-level work. I think these girls really need us because their families seem a little bit less stable then what I grew up with. It doesn't seem like any of these girls have very many friends at school, which is so surprising. They seem like such sweet, nice kids. :(
On the whole I'm very much enjoying doing Girl Scouts as a leader. It's such a new experience from training and from being a leader. I'm starting to look forward to doing some more training since I'm getting an idea of how to actually lead now!
OK, off to work! Then veggie sushi with Adam and Stephanie for dinner!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Maybe another try?
Right now I'll just say that I was so inspired and feel so reassured after hearing the State of the Union last night. Granted, I'm young, but I've never heard a politician speak before that talks about politics the way I've always thought it should be. I've heard things come out of President Obama's mouth that I myself have said (except that little bit about expanding nuclear power and offshore oil exploration!). A good friend of mine said it well, however. It was inspiring and frustrating, because after Obama is out of the office in another 3 or hopefully 7 years, who comes next? Will she or he be as inspiring? Will she or he be as frightening to me as Mike Huckabee was when he was a presidential contender?
I also find it frustrating how the general feeling is that nothing is getting done and that Obama isn't keeping his election promises, yet Massachusetts voted to replace a Democratic senator with a Republican senator. Now I'm all for a diverse Congress, but folks, if you're going to complain, vote a Congress in that is one-sided! Sheesh... I mean really!
As to Girl Scouts, I'm very excited to be so close to finally working with a troop. For the last year and a half I've been training adults at the Zoo and training leaders for Girl Scouts... kids always seem easier to work with... though I'll probably eat my words within the next few months. Next Wednesday I will meet with the troop leader and the (apparently) two girls in the troop thus far. Guess we can't be legal yet... yikes!
Friday, November 23, 2007
So I don't know how much longer I'll continue this journaling. Maybe, maybe not. I already keep my own hard copy journal, and I just don't use this much any more to keep in touch with people.
Meh...